Cracking The Disabled Dating Code

It doesn’t matter whether you’re one of the disabled singles out there, or if you are someone about to go on a first date with a disabled single you met online, there are a few rules that you should probably follow. Let’s face it, dating a disabled person is probably not something you try on a regular basis!

It is common for things to go wrong in certain social situations, no matter how prepared you think you are. Even if you are both disabled and can sympathise with each other over your respectful conditions, things can still go horribly wrong… Something I personally have seen a hundred and one times before!

Rather than give you a long list of things that people tend to do wrong in relationships with disabled people, I have decided to tell you what you SHOULD be doing instead. Smart, right?

disabled dating clubWhat ‘term’ do you use?

Some people call it their disability, other disabled singles call it their mobility impairment. For some it might be an illness or chronic condition. First and foremost, before anything else, ask that question – “What do you like to call it?”

You should probably be aware that it is going to come up in conversation. It is going to put certain limitations on your relationship. There are certain things that you are going to need to talk about it. Just get it out the way. Chances are, they’ll love you for being so upfront about it.

Don’t ever call “normal” people “normal”.

Who knows what “normal” is anyway. Most disabled people hate the term “normal”. And “healthy”… That’s another one that grates on us. We’re not abnormal. Nor are we unhealthy. Unlucky yes, but the other words… No!

You can use the term “able-bodied” if you like?

If disability is a deal-breaker, it’s a deal-breaker. If I smoked and you hated smokers, I would expect to get rejected. If you know full well that you couldn’t handle the disability that your potential partner is presenting to you, don’t go on the first date. Don’t ‘give it a try’ if you’re not really sure. It would be much better to reject us upfront than to string us along for a bit and then reject us. Just get it out the way. You know?

Of course, there are a couple of extra etiquette tips that it is worth taking into account too:

*If they are in a wheelchair, don’t stand above them and look down at them all the time. Find a chair and sit your butt down! Be on the same level as them. Otherwise you just look a bit rude, and occasionally intimidating. Don’t be that person.
*Make eye contact. Don’t be afraid to look. If they aren’t embarrassed by their illness or condition, why should you?
*Remember that the tools for a disability are part of the disabled daters personal space. If it’s a wheelchair, don’t interfere with it or try to get into the personal space it encompasses. If they use a stick, don’t hide it because you think it will be funny. Behave yourself. You’re meant to be an adult.
*Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you want to know how they make it up the stairs, ask them how they make it up the stairs. You’d be surprised at how many people are too afraid to ask these things.
*Think about the actual dates before you book them. What’s the point in going somewhere completely inaccessible for a wheelchair with your wheelchair-bound date there? Be serious and be sensible. Just think about it for a moment!

Of course, above all else you should try to have fun. That’s what disabled dating is meant to be, isn’t it? Fun? Looking for an amazing disabled dating web site in Australia, I recommend disableddatingclub.com.au – check it out!